sadness

"I'm feeling a little blue myself. You know, a little anxious for no particular reason, a little sad that I should feel anxious at this age, you know, a little self-conscious anxiety resulting in non-specific sadness..."-The Drowsy Chaperone


Things that make me sad:
overhearing people talk in the library about how if they every have a gay kid they are going to kick him out.
wanting to call my Mom but knowing she's too busy.
feeling left behind in school.

All of these things happened today.

Deep thoughts

not really.

Deepthoughtsfrom123.blogspot.com The apartment quote blog. Sometimes risqué.

more poetry

screenshots from G. Love's new video

at first it was the hands that got me

and then the beauty of a man singing on a porch

with a country house in the background.

the epitome of a simple life

beautiful 

like a poem (the picture of the simple life)

capturing a poem (the song)

while being performed. 

dating someone

when I'm dating someone
I become a better person

this may be unusual, but
I get to bed on time (because we both have class at 8)
I take better care of myself (makeup-wise)
I eat healthier
I get more of my homework done

it's pretty nice

not that I'm dating anyone (yet)

I don't have to run around losing sleep
hoping something will happen
Looking pretty for someone is nice
(unlike the pointless makeup-ing of yesteryear)
I don't have to eat comfort food
to make myself feel better
And studying is easier
knowing he's studying too

...and later we can have fun.

this is all in theory, of course. It doesn't bear resemblance to my actual life. Yet.

this is pretty dang self-centered

It is my birthday tomorrow

if you are so overcome with guilt that you forgot

and positively must get me a present 

to soothe your conscience

here is my etsy wishlist

Condoleezza Rice is coming to campus tomorrow as well

I am thinking about going to the question and answer

and beginning my question with "My name is Betsy and it's my birthday

...."

perhaps she will wish me happy birthday

I just need a good question

this is pretty dang self-centered

being mad at the Spirit

Last week

I got a prompting I didn't understand
and didn't want to follow.

And I resisted.

You can only resist for so long though
and finally,
I caved
to the superior [everything] (intellect, planning, knowledge, creativity)
del Señor.

Once I did follow it
I found out that I should have earlier
so I could have more time
to talk to my friend

who has a break when I do
unbeknownst to me
whom I love
(beknownst to me)
and needed to talk to
unbeknownst to me

not for his health
but for mine.

being mad at the spirit
never works for me.

Lesson learned (for the umpteenth time)

un problema

de limites

everything is a problem of limits
is it not?

argentina vs. chile

that's what my professor said

"siempre es un problema de limites."
and I thought

you betcha!

like what can I and what can't I do in my life

always a problem of limits

believe in the wrong ones
in either direction
--you are too easily satisfied (when you could have achieved so much more)
--or always disappointed (at what you couldn't do)

right?

shadows

once, someone pointed out to me, that the closer you get to a source of light, the bigger your shadow gets as well
the closer I get to God, the more apparent it is how much work I have to do.

this is a good parallel, I think.

the first words

my ex-boyfriend said when he saw me,
"You look amazing!"

so. gratifying.

education > information via Mr. Green

Mr Green (John Green) provides some much-needed delineation.

information=facts
education=knowing which facts are really the important ones




If you're really in a crunch for time, watch from 0:25 to 0:37 and from 1:40 to 3:07. But, seriously, this man is one of my idols. And you will miss an informative, funny bit about lemmings if you stick to the aforementioned parameters. If you don't have 4 minutes for one of my idols, why are you reading this right now?

I don't want to turn into a fangirl here, but I do want to elaborate on the previously mentioned idolatry. Isaiah thought ancient Israel didn't take it seriously enough, and I don't want to make the same mistake.

John Green is one of the leading authors of YA lit today. He has published Looking for Alaska, An Abundance of Katherines, Paper Towns, and Will Grayson, Will Grayson.

His writing is funny, he catches the teenage voice admirably, and he does not stray far from life, nor its more trying, complicated, undeniably difficult issues--intertwined with more complexity, being heightened by hormones and identity-searching--familiar elements to anyone who has ever been a young adult.  He has a YouTube channel which has so many causes but I will only list my favorite: Don't Forget to be Awesome. He is also a father. A loving father. He waves a flag for enthusiasm and creativity that is impossible to ignore.

That being said, he is one of my idols.

And the need for disambiguation between information and education has never been so needed. Many people think they can teach themselves, and it's true--you can. Good luck. Context, though, is the relevant issue. I think that an ignorant person would say that context is just another group of facts, however true context is not seeing all of the different colors in a rug, but being able to see all of the different shades of red in a tapestry woven of only red threads, seeing which shades outline the pattern. Context gives not only information but importance. It gives someone priorities.

And I think being a teacher, we provide context. We show our classes what are the important facts, because we show them that yes, not only is there a hill right there, but that hill is actually in the middle of the only road to enlightenment, thus it becomes more than 'just' a hill.

Eventually, we teach students how to determine their own context. The context of their lives. What actions/events have meaning, and why. In my paradigm every action has meaning. Will they adhere to this philosophy? Probably not. Until they are on the verge of being 25.

But this process, of learning what facts are important, is education. It's more than facts, more than information. Education is showing someone how to understand what they see. And by teaching them how to recognize the important elements, they are able to change the picture, by changing those key elements. 

21 Questions

the facebook app
I caved
I found out what people have been answering about me
pretty funny, actually.
however, here are the answers
please stop answering them.
Thanks.

1) Do you think that Betsy Sieber has ever had a crush on you?
--Yes. I probably have.
2) Do you think that Betsy Sieber can eat more than 3 Big Macs at a time?
--I feel like the difference between "could" and "would" is really important here. I totally could. But I never would. 
3) Would you trust Betsy Sieber with your life?
--I do!
4) Do you think that Betsy Sieber is lazy?
--Only a little bit. And this depends on the context. I am a very hardworking would-be English teacher. I am a very lazy America's Next Top Model watcher.
5) Do you think that Betsy Sieber can keep a secret?
--I am as silent as the grave.
6) Do you think that Betsy Sieber smells?
--I actually pride myself on smelling delicious. Every body product I own is delicious smelling. I love smelling like something sweet and happy. I do what I can to make the environment around me as pleasant as possible, and although being a cheerful person is number one on my list, I similarly place "smelling great" under that category. 
7) Do you think that Betsy Sieber is a sore loser?
--One word: Scrabble. And yes. Unless I'm so amazed by your lexicon that I decide to become your protege. In which case, beware, I'm only doing it to strip you of your champion title in the not-too-distant future. 
8) Do you think that Betsy Sieber has ever lied to you?
--Probably not. Unless you count not telling the whole truth. In which case, I probably have.
9) Do you think Betsy Sieber drives too fast?
--Yes.
10) Do you think that Betsy Sieber is a good friend?
--I certainly try to be. If you have a complaint, let me know. It has happened. Usually something along the lines of "I never see you any more." So true. 
11) Do you think that Betsy Sieber is a wannabe?
--I don't think so. I'm really into actually being something. As opposed to just wanting to be it. 
12) Do you think Betsy Sieber was a Dork in high school?
--You bet! I also like that they capitalized "Dork" here. Give us dorks the recognition we deserve: the status of a proper noun. 
13) Do you think that Betsy Sieber is cute?
--I have yet to have someone tell me I am not cute, without replacing it with some other superior adjective, i.e. 'incredible' 'wonderful' or 'amazing.' Which I generally prefer to 'cute.' 
14) Does Betsy Sieber sing in the shower?
--Yes. Undoubtedly.
15) Do you think that Betsy Sieber has ever kissed a guy?
--Ew, kissing. Gross!
16) Do you think that Betsy Sieber can cook?
--I am okay. I have gotten a lot better, and I do love cooking. 
17) Do you think that Betsy Sieber likes chick flicks?
--Chick flicks I love: Runaway Bride, Singing in the Rain, Little Women, Pride and Prejudice.
18) Do you think your first impression of Betsy Sieber was right?
--Maybe.
19) Do you think that Betsy Sieber has ever smoked?
--I have not. Stupid, and smelly. 
20) Do you think that Betsy Sieber has ever failed a class?
--Many.
21) Do you think that Betsy Sieber has game?
--Of course I have game. You must not know 'bout me.

The Sieber House Christmas

1) giant candy bar from grandma

2) family movie night 

3) reading the nativity story

4) singing hymns around the piano

5) youngest gets to open presents first

its the same every year. 

Seeing as Eleanor has been the youngest for 15 years in a row,

you'd think we would have petitioned to change the system.

Truth is, we're just to lazy to get up off the couch. 

(Really? you say I know I reply. we're despicable)

So we just make the youngest bring us our presents.

Maybe it is she who should petition to change the system.

and of course,
family pictures.

Luke is my favorite.

I love Christmas.

desserts

presents

lights

laughter

and of course

(saying the last should be first)

the emphasis on the birth of Christ.