I found out how I want to be proposed to:

Pretty nerdy, I know. But it's the truth.

Alex

there is this boy I know who is always enthusiastic; he is always excited to see everyone, and endlessly supportive.

I want to be him.

today I definitely saw one of my friends (acquaintance?) and high-fived her and said "I love you," before darting off to class.

I feel like I've lost that behavior lately.
however I'm working on regaining it.

I'll let you know how this quest goes.

Maybe this is the real challenge: keeping your personality in the midst of turbulence.

the latest

"Stop worrying about what you are not, and start caring about what you are." - Gregory

"I never did anything for a million pounds that I wouldn't have done for free.

I am a facist, its true, but I feel like you have to be that way in creativity. 

There is a nobility in poverty and I think I've never lost that." - Ricky Gervais

"The world is full of kings and queens who blind your eyes and steal your dreams"- Black Sabbath

Just some quotes I felt like keeping.

Oh you mean you want an actual update? 

Hm. Well.

I have been working on giving up anger for lent. I think it is one of the most wasteful emotions ever, and I hope I keep this habit. The other day, I even gave up being angry with myself. 

This semester I have had to take a long, hard, look at myself. It is a little bit scary (see also: VERY scary). I am working on liking what I see, before I try to change it. I feel like that will make it much easier to change, when I want to.

sadness

"I'm feeling a little blue myself. You know, a little anxious for no particular reason, a little sad that I should feel anxious at this age, you know, a little self-conscious anxiety resulting in non-specific sadness..."-The Drowsy Chaperone


Things that make me sad:
overhearing people talk in the library about how if they every have a gay kid they are going to kick him out.
wanting to call my Mom but knowing she's too busy.
feeling left behind in school.

All of these things happened today.

Deep thoughts

not really.

Deepthoughtsfrom123.blogspot.com The apartment quote blog. Sometimes risqué.

more poetry

screenshots from G. Love's new video

at first it was the hands that got me

and then the beauty of a man singing on a porch

with a country house in the background.

the epitome of a simple life

beautiful 

like a poem (the picture of the simple life)

capturing a poem (the song)

while being performed. 

dating someone

when I'm dating someone
I become a better person

this may be unusual, but
I get to bed on time (because we both have class at 8)
I take better care of myself (makeup-wise)
I eat healthier
I get more of my homework done

it's pretty nice

not that I'm dating anyone (yet)

I don't have to run around losing sleep
hoping something will happen
Looking pretty for someone is nice
(unlike the pointless makeup-ing of yesteryear)
I don't have to eat comfort food
to make myself feel better
And studying is easier
knowing he's studying too

...and later we can have fun.

this is all in theory, of course. It doesn't bear resemblance to my actual life. Yet.

this is pretty dang self-centered

It is my birthday tomorrow

if you are so overcome with guilt that you forgot

and positively must get me a present 

to soothe your conscience

here is my etsy wishlist

Condoleezza Rice is coming to campus tomorrow as well

I am thinking about going to the question and answer

and beginning my question with "My name is Betsy and it's my birthday

...."

perhaps she will wish me happy birthday

I just need a good question

this is pretty dang self-centered

being mad at the Spirit

Last week

I got a prompting I didn't understand
and didn't want to follow.

And I resisted.

You can only resist for so long though
and finally,
I caved
to the superior [everything] (intellect, planning, knowledge, creativity)
del Señor.

Once I did follow it
I found out that I should have earlier
so I could have more time
to talk to my friend

who has a break when I do
unbeknownst to me
whom I love
(beknownst to me)
and needed to talk to
unbeknownst to me

not for his health
but for mine.

being mad at the spirit
never works for me.

Lesson learned (for the umpteenth time)

un problema

de limites

everything is a problem of limits
is it not?

argentina vs. chile

that's what my professor said

"siempre es un problema de limites."
and I thought

you betcha!

like what can I and what can't I do in my life

always a problem of limits

believe in the wrong ones
in either direction
--you are too easily satisfied (when you could have achieved so much more)
--or always disappointed (at what you couldn't do)

right?

shadows

once, someone pointed out to me, that the closer you get to a source of light, the bigger your shadow gets as well
the closer I get to God, the more apparent it is how much work I have to do.

this is a good parallel, I think.

the first words

my ex-boyfriend said when he saw me,
"You look amazing!"

so. gratifying.